Friendship; some of life’s greatest sorrows and greatest joys share their origin. Our relationships can be life-giving or life-taking. What I am learning is that – while wisdom and discernment are important – how we share our lives is primarily about our relationship with Christ. As we yearn to devote all thoughts and works in submission to Jesus, so we must submit our friendships. 

1 Corinthians 12 discusses the body of Christ, and how each individual is invaluable and purposed by God. Verses 24-27 states: “But God has so composed the body giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.” Hebrews 10 exhorts us to meet together: “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”

God calls us to live life in community. Community is more than just spending time together at church or having dinner, it requires that we share our joys, excitement, and dreams. We share our shame, torments, laments, and grief. We are meant to praise God in our triumphs, and cry out to God in our despair…together. God calls us to be His hands and feet and – through His strength – love sacrificially. 

Obedience to this is not without struggle. We will share our vulnerabilities, our doubts, and fears and those claiming Christ may condemn and shame us. Friends may fail to help carry our burdens, or heap new ones on us. Some wounds will be so deep they can inform our perceptions, making new friendships marked by hesitancy, fearing that we cannot fully trust. This is a great struggle in my heart, as I have been wounded by those I looked up to and confided in. I have witnessed beloved friends betrayed and suffer false accusations and spiteful gossip. These patterns of betrayal and bitterness often end unresolved – the hurter refusing to reconcile, leaving the hurting deserted to deal with the aftermath. How can vulnerability be worth it? 

But friends, Jesus did not hold back. He gave everything for you and me – even when friends denied and betrayed him. Past hurts should not be the measure of our obedience to share our lives with others. It is because of Christ’s love, His faithfulness, and His sacrifice that we can cast our burdens on one another, we can be vulnerable because we trust Him. God chooses to work in our broken lives and through our brokenness. Christian community is not characterized by a lack of hardship or hurt, but by a people who remember the grace and forgiveness they have been given and trust God as they extend that grace to love and forgive each other. We must not close ourselves to God’s design for us out of fear and cynicism. When friends fail us, we can turn to him who will hold us and sustain us. 

Past hurts should not be the measure of our obedience to share our lives with others. It is because of Christ’s love, His faithfulness, and His sacrifice that we can cast our burdens on one another, we can be vulnerable because we trust Him.

Obedience to this is not without joy. God’s blessings and provisions of marriage, births, employment, and healing bring delight and celebration. Rich friendships bless us with wisdom, insight, and accountability. They encourage our hearts and point us to Christ. Others’ insights to art, history, and science allow us to see the nuances, beauty, and meaning in God’s creation. Studying his word together, we see how God speaks to all people in all circumstances. He has made us different so together we might see the perfect, creative, and expansive facets of his design.

Let us sit together in sadness, hold each other through anxiety, faithfully pray, encourage, challenge and speak truth. Let us persevere to know each other well, that we might share the joys of God’s provisions and see Christ more clearly. We are known by God and still loved. And we can trust God as we share our lives with each other.