Seeing our baby on ultrasound is as clear in my mind today as in the moment. The detail of his brain, his small mouth – opening to suck his thumb – the perfection of his little fingers and toes, struck unprecedented awe in my heart and praise to God for this miracle. Having this joy to the backdrop of smoke and ash – reminding us of the forest fires and every other chaotic event happening in our world – made my heart even more thankful that God would give us this gift. Through this, he reminded me of his blessings, his goodness, and that he cares for every aspect of our lives. 

Dear mothers, I am beginning to see on a new level that much love is often accompanied by many worries. Even nestled in my womb, I am aware of what can go wrong for my baby. The one concerning/abnormal finding on the ultrasound has seized my heart and threatens my sleep and rest. 

And you mammas – who have children running about have more concerns than their physical wellbeing. They are not nestled in your womb or always in your home, but amidst the world projecting its values which are far from centered on Christ. I see the myriad of avenues for children to be exposed to so many horrors the world shamelessly embraces. I imagine the anxiety to protect children from what they might see or hear. 

I am finding that as the love for my unborn child grows, I can cling more desperately to what I want for his future more than I cling to Christ. Elisabeth Elliot simply puts what our response should be:

“Faith does not eliminate questions. But faith knows where to take them.”

Reading Psalm 139:13-16 has reminded me that nothing is hidden from God. He knows my deepest fears and the chasm that is often between the truth I know and what I feel. He reminds me that there is no area on this earth or in my mind where he is not. He details the care of our lives: 

“For you formed my inward parts;

    you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;

    my soul knows it very well.

My frame was not hidden from you,

when I was being made in secret,

    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in your book were written, every one of them,

    the days that were formed for me,

    when as yet there was none of them.”

He not only oversees our development in utero, he knows our days before our birth. And he knows this for our children. 

This should encourage us. Our struggles and worries for our children are not a surprise to God. And if we want good things for our children – people who are imperfect and learning to love well, God will certainly give what is best: “how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:11). 

When my worries and lack of faith feel overwhelming, I am reminded that “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).

When we feel overtaken with concern, God asks us to place those fears on him. He has shown us throughout scripture his goodness and faithfulness. And amidst the chaos around us, he reminds us of his goodness by giving unspeakable joy in everyday beauty; he allows us to see tiny toes and babes sucking their thumbs.

My prayer is that we seek God’s word, bring to him our worries, and cling to Christ above all else.