Where God tears great gaps we should not try to fill them with human words. They should remain open. Our only comfort is in God of the resurrection, the father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer
It is both tragic and beautiful that Grandpa lays just a door down from where Grandma breathed her last. Gathered at his bedside, we sit together. It is a great sorrow to watch earthly life ending, yet we see God’s goodness and provision for the man on his deathbed.
We are stripped of Thanksgiving tradition – an overabundance of food, warmth, and leisure. But in this I am reminded of the wealth and treasure that we have in all circumstances. We have treasure beyond comfort and material items. As children of God we are thankful because we know our loved one’s labored, apnic breaths do not threaten infinite darkness. Rather they are a journey to the end of darkness.
Jesus has conquered death. Through Him, our stories are not decided by the brokenness and sorrows of this life. Because of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, I have certainty that Grandpa will soon be freed from the curse of this world – the aging of his body and the pain of having loved ones taken from life. A stroke has confiscated his brain but it has not taken his hope.
“O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?” The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
1 Corinthians 15:55-57
This affliction of saying goodbye has reminded me of our true hope for the restoration of this world. That our pain is a product of sin – death’s wrongful disruption in God’s creation. We grieve this but are reminded that Jesus paid the price so that death is not our end.
I am reminded that God’s timing is perfect. I selfishly want to keep Grandpa – to continue to have his company, wisdom, and love. But God knew his heartbreak in losing my Grandma. He knew his desire to be with her and be home in heaven. This catastrophic stroke was a stroke of God in his mercy.
As I swallow that Grandpa’s journey home is now, I wonder why he doesn’t just take him. But I am reminded that God’s timing is perfect. He has given us beautiful moments in the waiting.
I thank God that Grandpa was carried peacefully home. I thank Him for the days of waiting in a hospital room. Time to cherish family. To slow our pace. To remember that our greatest gratitude is for Jesus.
Reflections of Terror and Beauty 