Reflections of Terror and Beauty

Category: Essays

  • The Treasure of Babies at Church

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    J
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    When my parents answered God’s call to start a church, our home became a place of meeting for a season. Saturdays were for cleaning. Our crumb-laden, toy-strewn home transformed into a tidy space for our church gathering; my bedroom became the nursery and our family room for corporate singing. My mom managed to open her…

  • Because I love you

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    J
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    The hours I’ve bounced and paced with my son snuggly tucked in my arms are teaching me something. His cries are often relentless, but so are my arms around him. Tears stain both our cheeks and I wish he could rest in what is true: I love him. I find myself telling him, “you are…

  • These Anxious Humans

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    J
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    Said the Robin to the Sparrow,  “I should really like to know Why these anxious human beings Rush about and worry so.” . Said the Sparrow to the Robin,  “Friend, I think that it must be That they have no heavenly Father Such as cares for you and me.” Philip Howard Motherhood has revealed in…

  • Rejoicing in the Light

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    J
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    O come, o come, Emmanuel // And ransom captive Israel // That mourns in lonely exile here // Until the son of God appear // Rejoice! rejoice! Emmanuel // Shall come to thee, o Israel. I see December nights adorned by light: they glisten in the main streets and along the rooftops of neighboring homes.…

  • The Treasure of a Purposed Home

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    J
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    I grew up in a home where I was a pirate and princess; running barefoot with my sisters outside in our imaginary worlds. I grew in a home of blankets and books, table work such as math and dictation. I was in a home where I learned to care for my younger sisters, where I…

  • To mothers

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    J
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    Seeing our baby on ultrasound is as clear in my mind today as in the moment. The detail of his brain, his small mouth – opening to suck his thumb – the perfection of his little fingers and toes, struck unprecedented awe in my heart and praise to God for this miracle. Having this joy…

  • COVID Storms & Human Sandcastles

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    J
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    “Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on…

  • Advent: homes & hearts reoriented

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    J
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    In one distinct childhood memory, my father strings white icicle lights around the roof of our home. I still feel the cold air cooling in obedience to dusk. I remember the shimmer against a blanket of darkness that sent a shiver of wonder and joy through me. As an adult, my home is adorned with…

  • A Hospital Thanks

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    J
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    Where God tears great gaps we should not try to fill them with human words. They should remain open. Our only comfort is in God of the resurrection, the father of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Dietrich Bonhoeffer  It is both tragic and beautiful that Grandpa lays just a door down from where Grandma breathed her…

  • Defending friendship

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    J
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    Friendship; some of life’s greatest sorrows and greatest joys share their origin. Our relationships can be life-giving or life-taking. What I am learning is that – while wisdom and discernment are important – how we share our lives is primarily about our relationship with Christ. As we yearn to devote all thoughts and works in…